SEEKING ADVICE OR ASKING FOR HELP

Over the years, we have had a lot of couples come up to Leila or myself, and tell us how we have inspired them, motivated them, or how they look up to us in one way or another. This has always been one of our personal mission statements with our Panda Group, but the truth is, this is also a lot of pressure on us. People think we have it all figured out. We are only human as well, we make mistakes, we have used couples counseling before, and we each have our own flaws.

FYI, they have lifestyle specific therapists who specialize in these types of dynamics.

We don’t air our problems publicly, but at times we have both lacked people to talk to about problems or advice. Self awareness & evolution is important and healthy, and it’s ok to ask for help or advice.

Being a good Leader sometimes means exposing yourself first, and leading by example, because you never know who you may be helping by doing so.

If this applies to you, just know you can always reach out to us privately about absolutely anything.

WHAT'S UNDER THE SKIN AND WHAT'S IN YOUR HEAD

I (Mike), am more introverted than I am extroverted, but a lot of people don’t know that about me. You may see me always laughing, smiling, and cracking jokes, and then you see how Leila acts (she’s naturally like this LOL), and she’s very outgoing and acts like a Rockstar often on a microphone, or megaphone, just speaking her mind and doing what she loves.

I have been in the lifestyle for almost 20 years now (I started around 22 and I just turned 40). I have been in the lifestyle as a single male several times, I’ve had a couple of girlfriends in the LS before I met Leila, and I’ve also taken a break from the lifestyle at times. I have had people not accept me, I’ve dated toxic women who ultimately caused me a lot of trouble and pain in the LS. I’ve also been looked at as a threat at times by other men (and sometimes women) for whatever reason they come up with. I have seen how the lifestyle was, and I know the people deserve more and better that what existed in the past.

Guys, the truth is, I am not, and will never be a threat to you or your relationship. In fact, I am your biggest cheerleader and I will always offer support and help to anyone who needs it. I am allergic to toxic and negative people. My body will physically reject those types of people.

It is my personal mission to rip down and destroy all toxic and negative swinging cultures as our Panda Tribe continues to expand across the United States, and eventually take us International as well (we have already had offers). The world is undergoing another sexual revolution, and I personally want to be a major part of that.

It is my personal goal to unify everyone, and that’s part of what the Panda symbolizes. They are Black, they are White, they are Asian. They are Goofy, and I can give you so many Panda facts right now, but they are different from the other bears (Social Norms). However, everyone seems to love them, and because of that the people are naturally behind them.

What a lot of people don’t know about me is I’ve suffered a lot of PTSD events in my life. I’ve had plenty of extreme lows, and I’ve endured a lot of pain and suffering over the years, but who hasn’t right? I had a lot of family dysfunction growing up with parents and siblings. I’ve had people not accept me for who I was, or who I wanted to be moving forward.

I also suffer from back & neck issues which has limited my ability to workout over the years, which affects my body image, because I don’t look like all the other guys who have rock hard bodies and are in much better shape than I am. I am a former collegiate athlete who played Ice Hockey at very high levels, and now I feel like my body is struggling and falling apart. My passion of Ice Hockey and continuing to play in local leagues for many years after college, has caused my body to break down a little faster and I feel myself getting slower or taking longer to recover from the events we do.

Growing up I always felt like I was pretty goofy looking and never really got attention from girls. I lacked style, and I had no direction for it either. I had bad teeth at one point, and had to wear braces for 4 years when I was younger, and then again during my freshman year of college. I’ve had 5 major physical abnormalities with my body since birth. My teeth are one of these. I was born with 3 sets of teeth in some areas of my mouth. I had a set in between my baby and adult teeth, those teenage asshole teeth that just wanna fuck everything up, and they acted like they already knew everything. They had to cut open a lot of my gums to either, remove or wait to grow in to be pulled, and then wear spacers to keep the space open for the adult teeth to come in. Then had to get them all straightened out. For those of you who never had to wear braces before, they can make you feel extremely self-conscious. I was always covering my mouth or trying not to smile because I didn’t want people to see what was going on.

I had to do this for 5 years of my life. 4 years in my early development and then another when I first started college. Imagine doing anything for 5 years and how that has impacted your life, but I learned to laugh at myself and it makes me feel more comfortable in my own skin.

Humor is the best medicine!!! I can never say this enough to people.

Before I had all these colorful tattoos that everyone now compliments me on, I was just a super white, pasty pale, marshmallow that you probably would have walked right past. Instead of being Tall, Dark, and Handsome, I was Pasty, Pink, & Wholesome lol. Some of you have met me when I looked like this, and some of you have walked past me back then because I wasn’t fully out of my shell just yet in some ways.

The first time Leila and I dated, I looked like this.

Yes, for everyone who didn’t know. Leila and I originally met back in 2017 on SLS, and we dated for 7 months before I realized I had to break her heart, because I didn’t want to lead her on as we went through the holiday seasons. We had a lot of fun, but I was still younger, her kids were younger, I wasn’t ready to be a step dad, and I still wasn’t sure if I wanted to pursue a family of my own or have children of my own.

Turns out this decision added more PTSD events, but hindsight is 20/20, and at the time it’s what I needed to do with my life.

When Covid happened in 2020, Leila’s father had passed away and I reached out to her to offer my condolences. That’s all it took for us to be reunited again, and now the timing was much better. We became Covid buddies, then eventually we liked the term “Slutty Buddies.” Everyone was older and better versions of themselves than our first time, and we just got married over the summer of 2023.

When we got back together, Leila told me about the Pandas, and at first I was a little hesitant about joining because of all my issues, but I got over and past a lot of it and embraced the role once I figured out what I wanted to bring to the table, and the direction I wanted to see the group grow.